Haterade: a sampling of rants
“I just told them ‘make me look like The Riddler went to Talbots.'”
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We had a BLAST in the live thread Friday night for the women’s Final Four and we’ll be there again today for the Championship between University of South Carolina and University of Iowa at 3 PM ET. I’ll open the thread a couple hours before game time. It’s open to all subscribers but after this, live threads will become a paid subscriber perk.
A small sampling of rants
After last week’s hilariously out-of-touch “Weekend Update” sketch in which Michael Che joked that no one watches women’s basketball, Saturday Night Live had a cold open that rectified the misstep, making fun of the fact that no one is watching the men’s tournament this year, including shouting out the 14.2 million viewers for the UConn-Iowa Final Four matchup Friday night (a number that makes it ESPN’s most-viewed basketball game—college or pro, any gender—EVER, and ESPN’s second-biggest audience for a non-football game EVER).
It also turns out that Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe happened to be sitting in the front row last week when Che made that joke. YIKES. Rapinoe reportedly booed.
Last night’s sketch also features Heidi Gardner doing a Kim Mulkey impression: “I just told them ‘make me look like The Riddler went to Talbots.’”
Better late than never, I guess.
For weeks now, Shaq has been hyping up the women’s NCAA tournament. He’s said he doesn’t plan to watch any men’s games at all this year. “Well, the boys suck… JuJu Watkins, Caitlin [Clark], my girl Angel Reese… They’re just killing it,” he said on his podcast, “The Big Podcast.” “I don’t think I even know any men’s [players].”
People have been giving him a lot of cookies for this take. Don’t get me wrong—Shaq has come a long way when it comes to the respect he has for the women’s game and it’s really great to see. However, there’s some very important context being left out of Shaq’s growth in this department.
You see, he’s been an analyst for TNT’s “Inside the NBA” alongside Candace Parker for many years now. And when I tell you that Parker has had to listen to a ridiculous amount of nonsense from this man over the years. I’d be willing to bet that the only reason Shaq knows anything about women’s basketball is because of the relationship he’s built with Parker.
In 2021, Shaq was surprised to find out that Parker had been Defensive Player of the Year, to which she responded, “Take the surprise out your voice, Shaq.”
Shaq also believed that the rim should be lowered in women’s basketball to allow players to dunk—something he clearly thought was a novel idea that no one had ever suggested (spoiler: every man loves to suggest this). “Hear me out,” he said. This was an idea to “make it equal” (meaning the men’s and women’s games), something to give the women “a little more oomph” than they have right now. However, Parker quickly shut him down with just a head shake and a “nah.”
And here she is absolutely taking Shaq to school on the Xs and Os of basketball, in a segment that should have been so embarrassing for Shaq that I’m surprised he ever came back on the air tbh. Parker was patiently trying to explain pick-n-roll basketball to him and why teams need to switch up defensively so often in the modern game. Shaq’s response was that teams need to “man up” and then he started going on about his rings.
The two have developed what seems like a very sweet relationship during their time working together and it’s clear that Shaq has taken in much of what Parker has said. It’s pretty great to see someone like Shaq evolve so much when it comes to being able to appreciate women’s basketball—but let’s not pretend that Candace Parker didn’t play a huge park in that evolution.
(Also: a reminder! UConn has not won a national championship since Geno Auriemma kept Candace Parker off the 2016 U.S. Women’s Olympic team. “I don’t like him, he doesn’t like me,” Parker has said. The curse lives!)
One more mini rant: I would really like the misinformation about NIL deals to stop.
I’m not sure how many more times people need to explain that NIL deals follow players to the pros. No, Caitlin Clark or Angel Reese or Cameron Brink or any other women’s basketball player won’t be taking a paycut when they turn pro. Their NIL deals go with them—they are sponsorships—so players keep them all, in addition to their WNBA salary (even if it is fairly measly). Players are uncompensated as NCAA athletes so technically they will be getting a pay *raise* when they turn pro.
Hope this helps.
Sports-related reading
University of South Carolina coach Dawn Staley expressed full-throated support for trans women in women’s sports during yesterday’s presser: “If you consider yourself a woman and you want to play sports or vice versa, you should be able to play.” Hours later, Iowa coach Lisa Bluder was asked the same question: “I understand it's a topic that people are interested in. But today my focus is on the game tomorrow, my players. It's an important game we have tomorrow, and that's what I want to be here to talk about. But I know it's an important issue for another time.”
As Katie Barnes wrote at ESPN, South Carolina (the state) passed an expansive law that bars trans women from competing in girls’ and women’s sports from K-12 to college, including club & intramural sports (23 other states have passed similar legislation, including Iowa). That such a high-profile figure expressed this kind of allyship on such a large scale is incredibly significant. Especially because she’s been so vocal about her faith, it’s a great rebuttal to people who hide their transphobia or bigotry behind their religious beliefs.
She also refused to take the bait that was offered to her (the question called trans women “biological males”). The question was asked by Dan Zaksheske of Outkick, the Fox News of sports media, who was also using his media credentials at the women’s tournament to do things like stalk teams’ anthem schedules. Transphobes care so little about the women’s sports they claim to be “protecting” that they will show up at one of the biggest women’s sports events of the year bring up a hypothetical that doesn’t currently apply to anyone in the sport instead of asking about the event itself. Staley called out exactly what he was doing—distracting from her team and the championship by trying to create clickbait—and answered the question anyway. She also said she knew people would flood her mentions to be upset about her position and she was fine with it. True allyship if I’ve ever seen it. It’s also worth asking why the NCAA is credentialing an outlet like Outkick for the women’s tournament; they should have to answer for it, because it’s just another example of them failing to protect their marginalized players imo.
ICYMI, after Dawn Staley’s post-game comments about God raised eyebrows on Sunday, I looked into the line between expressing personal religious beliefs & violating the First Amendment rights of student-athletes for The Daily Beast.
When Staley answered the question about trans inclusion during the press conference and I commended her for it, many people responded to tell me I was a hypocrite, or had no right to speak about her after publishing my story. I knew there would be a lot of different reactions to the story and I respect however people feel about my decision to write it. I want to be clear about where I stand and my thought process behind writing it, both as a journalist and as someone who cares deeply about social justice and always considers the power dynamics involved in the work I put in the world. Especially when I cover women’s basketball, I am incredibly aware of the fact that I am a white person covering a predominantly Black sport and I try to be conscious of how and where I choose to take up space in that regard.
It’s Mercury Retrograde in Aries and the day before a lunar eclipse in Aries, all in my 10th House of public image and career so maybe it’s only natural that my words and intent feel like they are being misconstrued. Maybe I don’t need to explain myself at all. But I’m going to try. I do not dislike Dawn Staley! I have never been critical of Staley’s faith or religiosity and have no problems with whatever personal beliefs she holds.
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