I am so sick of this angle too. We fight for the most basic of benefits and then we don't use them. And I understand why. There is a lot of pressure from around us and ourselves to constantly work and prove our worth out of (very legit) fear that we'll get fired, let go, boxed out of promotions and top projects if we don't. And just because discrimination isn't legal it happens all the time. Just like every other bigotry that technically isn't legal to use in hiring and firing decisions as well.
Also I have a pin from Black Girl Hockey Club that says “black women aren’t your superheroes” - you made a great point on her message to her predominantly black athletes; thanks for that added perspective to this piece. I’ve definitely seen that toxic mentality with injuries in hockey.
THANK YOU FOR THIS. The way my eyes rolled all the way back with every one of those articles. (And the way my whole body hurt just watching that game and all the walking, pacing, coaching, sitting, talking, etc.) I want to try to respect her decision to come back as her decision (and hopefully not an obligation), AND literally even one comment to acknowledge that this isn't normal, shouldn't be a model for anyone else, how hard it is on the body, etc. would have gone a long way.
I was a college head coach for almost two decades and never made time to have a baby. I loved my lacrosse family so much that I never prioritized trying to becoming a mother until my early 40s.
College coaches don’t just start their careers upon their graduation at 22. They often start out on this path as young children who fall in love with their sport and end up making a career out of it. This is likely Coach Caldwell’s story, too. The idea of not being present as the head coach for a few months, or at the height of the team’s season, is unimaginable. I applaud Coach Caldwell for being on the court now because I understand her.
I promise that Caldwell is being safe. She has a doctor on staff with her team. She has an athletic trainer on staff at every event. She has a full staff of assistants. She had extensive conversations with her administrators to ensure the safety of her, her baby and the team. She has a very lucrative contract and likely renegotiated it and/or strict provisions were included from the University to protect them from litigation. I assume she will be given delayed maternity leave. While being a head coach is hard, she is fully supported right now to weave together the things she loves the most.
The NCAA and the NAIA are losing female coaches in droves, especially at child-bearing age. This story shows us that you don’t have to choose between your nuclear family and your sports family. You can still be a mom and lead a team at the highest level IF YOU CHOOSE TO. Truly, this story is an extremely positive one for highly driven women inside an extremely competitive and demanding industry.
Coach Caldwell likely isn’t “at work” on the court. She is passionate about what she does and has an extensive village to help her build and care for both of her families. We all should be so lucky!
Adding my thanks for writing this and highlighting the fact that Caldwell reinforces a harmful model with her swift return to work. Yikes, yikes, yikes.
Thank you for this! I have been wondering the same thing and appreciate your take!!
I am so sick of this angle too. We fight for the most basic of benefits and then we don't use them. And I understand why. There is a lot of pressure from around us and ourselves to constantly work and prove our worth out of (very legit) fear that we'll get fired, let go, boxed out of promotions and top projects if we don't. And just because discrimination isn't legal it happens all the time. Just like every other bigotry that technically isn't legal to use in hiring and firing decisions as well.
So frustrating.
Yes thank you! I hate this narrative so much.
Also I have a pin from Black Girl Hockey Club that says “black women aren’t your superheroes” - you made a great point on her message to her predominantly black athletes; thanks for that added perspective to this piece. I’ve definitely seen that toxic mentality with injuries in hockey.
THANK YOU FOR THIS. The way my eyes rolled all the way back with every one of those articles. (And the way my whole body hurt just watching that game and all the walking, pacing, coaching, sitting, talking, etc.) I want to try to respect her decision to come back as her decision (and hopefully not an obligation), AND literally even one comment to acknowledge that this isn't normal, shouldn't be a model for anyone else, how hard it is on the body, etc. would have gone a long way.
Thanks for saying this! I had the same thought yesterday when I was reading the ‘wonder woman’ headlines. Let bodies heal!!
Thanks for this. I felt like such a hater when I said "this sucks". Sports does this so much with injury and illness. I HATE it so much.
Such a great piece! Thanks, Frankie, for always keeping it real.
THANK YOU I've been thinking the exact same!
I was a college head coach for almost two decades and never made time to have a baby. I loved my lacrosse family so much that I never prioritized trying to becoming a mother until my early 40s.
College coaches don’t just start their careers upon their graduation at 22. They often start out on this path as young children who fall in love with their sport and end up making a career out of it. This is likely Coach Caldwell’s story, too. The idea of not being present as the head coach for a few months, or at the height of the team’s season, is unimaginable. I applaud Coach Caldwell for being on the court now because I understand her.
I promise that Caldwell is being safe. She has a doctor on staff with her team. She has an athletic trainer on staff at every event. She has a full staff of assistants. She had extensive conversations with her administrators to ensure the safety of her, her baby and the team. She has a very lucrative contract and likely renegotiated it and/or strict provisions were included from the University to protect them from litigation. I assume she will be given delayed maternity leave. While being a head coach is hard, she is fully supported right now to weave together the things she loves the most.
The NCAA and the NAIA are losing female coaches in droves, especially at child-bearing age. This story shows us that you don’t have to choose between your nuclear family and your sports family. You can still be a mom and lead a team at the highest level IF YOU CHOOSE TO. Truly, this story is an extremely positive one for highly driven women inside an extremely competitive and demanding industry.
Coach Caldwell likely isn’t “at work” on the court. She is passionate about what she does and has an extensive village to help her build and care for both of her families. We all should be so lucky!
Adding my thanks for writing this and highlighting the fact that Caldwell reinforces a harmful model with her swift return to work. Yikes, yikes, yikes.
You're in no position to "promise" that it's okay to take maternity leave when women are routinely disadvantaged for doing so.
💯💯💯💯💯